It reminds me of the song we used to sing in the army.

“children having fun, while we are holding guns.”

Not sure if you know what I mean.

Usually we goes on to sing “why must we serve” over and over again until someone stop us. That’s like the most gusto line in the entire song.

Oh well. Those were the days when I was young.

Our berthing time got pushed back again. So much for mayday.

We got the name of the relievers. The second mate will be an Indian – I thought they had all gone to other company. Surprisingly there’s still some stragglers left. The old man will be another Nigger. Kenneth Kofi. My experiences with Kenneths (other than Andrew’s brother) is that they are all odd balls. Never, ever name your son Kenneth or your dog for that matter. Lets just hope he’s a nice guy and not a noob like the current fat ass.

They intend to send 2 cadets on board. Its as if we have enough water for the current party. They want to increase the amount of people onboard. Seriously, I don’t know what the company is thinking. I don’t want to dwell into what I think too much. They are sending another Malay Singaporean. I think it might be from SMA and this is his second ship. Another is an Indian Malaysian. Maybe from Alam or maybe from SMA as well, but it all boils down that I am the only China Man onboard. I’m an endangered kind on this ship.

What it mean for me is that I’ll be the oldest fuck on this ship (other than the first mate). It also mean that everyone will be relying on my for the next voyage. I don’t like this kind of responsibility. Because the old man is going off, they are sending another confidential report. This time, I took time to really looked at it. I think I will do well in most department, but in terms of reliability and sense of responsibility, I personally don’t think I rank well over there. And it hits the spot. I don’t have a sense of responsibility. I guess I’ll need to work on that.

I took my weight yesterday. They have a weight scale in the smoke room. Surprising, I’ve lost a shit load of weight, but I don’t feel so. I feel that I’ve gain weight. I guess more politically correct, I lost muscles and gain fats. FATS! Its really depressing that I’m like in the middle of my midlife crisis and growing a belly and having no control about my weight. I think I will buy 2 bottles of Hydrocuts if I get to go out this time and eat them like candy. At least I’m doing something and maybe I won’t feel so helpless.

83 days.

I don’t really know anyone other than CK who can talk non-stop like that for 4 hours. But he did. I mean, I’m really not interested in what he was saying. I was just being a good sport and pretending to be interested. The whole time, I’m thinking of whisky and how I miss them. I was thinking about that wine I had with Ah Guan and his friend. I was, seriously thinking about pouring myself 5 shots of Jagamister.

When he stood up and made himself another cup of tea, all I could think of was pouring myself another 5 shots of Bacardi 151. In all honestly, I did thought about what he was saying. I mean, other that the marriage advice. Let me give you some back ground about these people.

The old man is something like 53 years old, he started sailing in the 1980s. When he was 36, he bought a huge chunk of land and build himself a 6 bedroom house. I mean, I can imagine it being huge. Before he joined this ship, he finished another project of building a shop house in the next town from where he lived. Its consist of 4 shops and a four bed room apartment. The First mate is 60 years old, according to him, he have 1 son and from what I can gathered at least a dozen of wifes and girlfriends. He owns 18 property of land and houses back home. I mean, while I collect watches to mark every event, he collect houses.

Their little salary with the exploding exchanging rate had allowed them to do that.

My little pay is not enough for me to apply for a credit card. I thought about it, I should be working forward to my first condo or something. I mean, I don’t see my self getting married soon and I’ve no intention of buying a 3 room flat at 30 something years old. Besides its always my goal to be rejected by HDB and its now so much easier since you can’t apply for a flat the moment you own a private property. The old man is going home this time and build a bigger shop house. He say he bought too much land when he was building house so now he will build another shop house behind his house. I just need to save enough cash to make the downpayment for a tiny tiny studio apartment. Thats all I’m working forward to how.

Family planning – WOW! that was a real hit in the face. I’ve never really thought of getting married. I mean, I don’t even have a girlfriend. I am 25 year old boy who wants to get shitfaced and grab tits. The time and tide however tells another story. If I want to retire at 60 and have my kid going to university, I have to start popping them at latest about 30 years old. That means I need to settle down at about 29 there about. Which give me 4 years. HA! I can picture myself grabbing the phone and call those order-a-Vietnam-bride service, right after I blow off my 29th birthday candles. Its freaking scary to think about this.

In other news

I completed ‘reading’ Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I thought the last book would make a really good movie. I was waiting for them to make book 2 and still there’s nothing. I mean, I am still waiting for them to make the second Masters and Commanders after they made Far Side of the Sea. But no no no no no. They are making the forth Pirates of the Caribbean. It was already painful to watch the last one. I don’t understand why they are still making it. I’ve also finish reading ‘Tell All’ and I thought it might make a good movie as well. It was written more like a screen play anyhow, I guess Chuck was inspired by his last 2 ‘print to screen’. In terms of story, I still think Haunted is his greatest work. His last 2 books was not really that good.

This is the nature of my job in the open sea. Its like a security guard, just watching, looking, staring and sleep walking. In the evenings, I sneak my phone with me and I play monopoly and bejewel and angry bird. Last 2 nights I’m playing the Sims 3, and listening to audio book. You can hide almost anything under the dark, as long as its not the size of the captain’s ass.

If you consider the job nature of a security guard, I’m pretty well paid, if you consider the big picture. I feel that I’m under paid. With the current US exchange rate going south, and I mean deep south, my salary is getting very insignificant. The current rate is 1.24. If it goes any lower, my salary will drop below 2 thousand sing dollars. I am 25 years old this year. I am the youngest certified officer on the ship. The youngest officer is the engine cadet, who is one year my junior.

I think I can get my captain’s certificate before I reach 30, that would also mean its time for a ‘career change’. I would be really upsad if I don’t make 6 thousand sing dollars a month by then. As mentioned, its my youth expressed in dollars. I happen to think I am worthy of 6 thousand dollars.

The old man is 53 years old, he just got promoted recently. I don’t have the time to wait till I am 50 to get promoted. Almost everyone knows that this company promotes very slowly. Those old style traditional way of management. The only good thing about the company is its short contract period. Junior officers – 5 months, senior officers 4 months. The ability to sign off on request is another question. But on paper, its a good thing. From what I’ve found out, if I were to switch company, I will be getting about 5 thousand sing dollars for the same current position. I’m not too sure about the contract period. But It is worth looking into. I need another 6 months to go back to school and then another 4 contract of 6 months to go back again for my captain certification. That could be done before I hit the big 30, if I clench my teeth and do one contract after another. After my certification, I can decide if I want to wait for command of just throw in the towel. 5 years, to make a insignificant mark.

I need to work on my paperwork now. The old man wants everything in before the 28th. I see that the second officer has got his act together already. That lucky bastard. He can do all these during his watch because the old man will never disturb him.

89 days. Notice how fast the number jumps.

I know my life boat engine is okay, so the problem is the davit. It looks okay. I know my rescue boat will never be able to launch in 5 minutes as required by regulation (let alone starting the engine) so the first thing that need to be done is to make it look pretty. There’s a cover already on it, but its torn and ugly and so 1) a new cover should be made.

The liferaft is secured properly. I did it personally and I know what is a weak link and a HRU and where they should go, so that okay. The embarkation ladder is all wrapped up, and I don’t think my seamanship skills is good enough to secure it back as the way it was, I’ll need an AB to turn the whole thing out and inspect every steps. Based on what I visually can see, its looks okay, and the shackles are okay. The screw are greased and turning. The only problem is 2) the hand rail for the embarkation ladder is all rusted and that need to looks pretty as well.

The boat itself, well, there’s nothing much I can do, but I’ve decided to give it a try. I got into the seat (its a free fall by the way) and its ridiculously uncomfortable. The seat belt is something I’ve never seen before. Its basically a hock. The picture show those you would see on a car or an airplane, but the actual thing is nothing closed to the picture. (Did Tyler’s Misinformation team did something?) Did I mention its almost impossible to put on the seat belt to begin with? You’re cramp into that little seat with your knees right infront of you and you try to wigger and wigger the seat belt over your shoulders. Anyhow, some of the seat belt has missing parts, 3) they need to be replaced, I be frank, there’s no way that lifeboat can save anyone. I mean, it would take hours to strap everyone in and by then the ship is already on the sea bed.

I went up the crane, and after so much hard work climbing up, my 2.5kg extinguisher is missing. I am inclined to believe that its stolen and not the crew took it some where for fun. They like to move my stuff around sometimes. Things are always stolen, thanks to the port this good vessel calls, chains, butterfly nut, hydrant cover, they did cut the brass part of the fire hose before and took the nozzle and the handle. Never thought they would steal my fire extinguisher. I guess for no reason and for something completely not my fault, I’ll have to write another report?

They did say that ignorance is bliss. If I’ve not walk around, I won’t have so much problem. Today is good friday, it is to mark the resurrection of JC. When will my salvation come? 90 days.

In the words of Roel, my friend in Holland:

“We drink to our sorrow…” Grab a beer, let it mellow.

Today marks a milestone. Its my third month on the ship. 89 days to be exact. Its almost the same amount of days I’ve spent in Holland, and yet, I don’t feel that I’ve accomplished anything. I’m still blur like a sotong, and my thesis is still in limbo.

Things are coming a little better though. Really busy with store requisition and there are still a lot to be done, but I am really not that stressed anymore. I mean, things are okay. The old man seems to be… how should I put it? Bring out of the way of people. He’s is less angry and spent a lot less time staring at me. He no longer looks at me when eating his breakfast and no longer find my company pleasing in the evening. I welcome that, I mean, it makes me feel better not being under the watchful eye of him. I guess he’s just jaded with the arrangement of the company and as much as he wants to be on top of things, I have to remind you, as someone who had similar management style, its tiring.

Store requisition is a rather simple thing make complicated by, as usual people. I found the right description to the second officer. He seems to be walking around with something shafted up his arse. I mean serious, he can be a real pain in the place where the sun never shines. The store is his responsibility, I am in-charge of the catering store which are stuff like soap, toilet paper and linen etc. I mean, okay, Its my first time and everything, but is like checking over and over and over and over and over and over and over and keeps changing this and that, I’ve been doing nothing but editing the form. I mean seriously, why can’t people just fuck it and let the company tell you its wrong. As much as it is your job, it is theirs as well. You really can’t be THAT careful with everything. He’s a nice person, I just can’t stand his command of english. Seriously, the word ‘downside’ is a noun with which means a negative aspect of something, as well as an adjective to suggest downward movement. Its interesting to hear creative use of the word comes out of his mouth. And, why can’t people use the word ‘each’ why must they go ‘one, one, one, one….’ I wonder if its 100 each, is he going to go ‘one one one…’ for a hundred times. And, why can’t people tell the difference between ‘fall’ and ‘drop’ Eg. The pen fall down. VS The pen dropped on the floor. I mean seriously, its makes my ears bleeds. He’s really nice and wants to explain things to me, but I totally don’t understand what he is talking about. I mean… how much do you understand if I just keep going ‘dis wan… dis wan… at the douwnside, after dis wan …’.

‘Give me a gun and paint the walls with my brains.’

He’s going home and I do home some english specking dude would come, maybe someone with a UK ticket and what not.

Tomorrow is Good Friday. Tomorrow is like BMT all over again. 91 days till my walk is done. I don’t see any good about the friday.

P.S: I stole a case of froster beer.

Established

Based on the current situation, the vessel will call Singapore on the second week of June. Which means by then I’ve not finished my contract. This means that I will have to continue one more voyage and likely sign off in mid July. Which means I’ll have completed under 6 months of sea services.

Fact

The reasons I want to sign off in July is
1. To work full time on my thesis
2. To host Ruude when he come over

The final draft of my thesis is due on first April. I’m still far from a decent working copy of my thesis let alone a final draft. I guess some leeway have to be given to have it in later.

Consideration

The intake for April 2012 Class 1&2. If i were to sign off in July, attend my graduation in September, I will still have time to make it for the April intake of class 1&2. Which means I am still considerably on path with my peers. And Benson says he is going to attend the April intake.

The problem

If I were to do 7 months on this ship, which means I’ll only require 5 months on my next contract to attend class 1 and 2. Taken that I can work on the thesis and have it in before graduation which is in september, I can join ship in October and make it for the April intake, that is if I drop going to Rugby World Cup as well. The next intake is in September 2012 if I were to target that, I will have some time to spare and perhaps a little too much time.

If I were to go for the September intake, I can be sure that I’ll have enough time to look for another company and positively this company will be history. It is unwise to extend my stay on this contact if the company has no intention of promoting me to 3rd officer.

The key consideration therefore will be:

1) If the company is going to promote me within this contract to 3rd officer
2) How long I can delay handing in my Thesis
3) When will the vessel call Singapore
4) If the booking for the April intake is full

There are so much things to consider. Its like thinking about the dessert when the main course is not even served yet.   

I wanted to shower this morning, and there was no water. They must be transferring or doing some other things. But where are they transferring the water? There’s only about 50 odd tons left.

I last ship, I did 12 months in one shot and had never felt so restless in wanting to go home. This vessel, I am already thinking of going back. It was supposed to be swift and painless. I mean, 3 voyage and thats the end of my contract and thats only 5 months. I’m closing into my 3rd month and its getting unbearable. Maybe its the new responsibility, maybe its the problems that constantly plaguing me, maybe its the old man constantly scrutinizing everything I do and being a rock in the middle of the earth’s orbit.

Its demoralizing to know that because of the quick turn over in the voyage, I will likely need to carry on another voyage. Indeed I was intending to leave in July, but I will leave at the first opportunity.

95 more days, press on.

Today they’ve adjusted the timing of the water. First the afternoon rationing is canceled. Which fucks me up a little since I usually top up my bucket in the afternoon. Which also means that I’ll have no water to shower after going on deck in the afternoon.

Then they adjusted the timing of the other rationing. The morning timing is cut short half an hour, from 7am to 8am. I can live with that since I have to be up anyway. The evening timing is from 5.30 to 6.30, which is not very cool since I have to take dinner at 5.30 and change shift for the first mate to eat dinner at 6, which he usually take his own sweet time and come back at 6.30-ish. The thing is, i’m I am not at least 3 minutes early, he start calling the entire vessel to find where the fuck I am. I don’t understand why people need to be breathing down each other’s neck.

The current arrangement is primarily for the toilet to flush. They are intending to flush the toilets with sea water and if that is going to be the case, I believe they will only open the tap at 5.30 to perhaps 6, or 6.30. Thank god I’ve saw this coming and already washed all my clothes. I have 4 boiler suits and I think I should survive till we have normal supply of water.

I have 2 bucket now, and I intend to fill them all up and store them. Fuck. What is wrong with this stupid ship. Some good news, tomorrow will mark my 100 day count down to my 6 month sign off target. I’m, not sure if I want to do 6 month with the current situation. Anyhow, the coming call to Singapore would be too early, my contract will not finish then so eitherway, it will be the next call Singapore. Ahhh 100 days!

The old man had stop lecturing people, he just kick up a big fuzz and then shut up. I guess he had given up on everyone since (I am sure) he had already signed the reported going to be send to the office. (or they are already on its way to the office) Another reason, I believe is that he is just simply in the mood to go home. I can understand that. I won’t be bothered with anything if I am so closed to going home. The sad this is what we are stacked here. The earliest date we can berth is on the 20th. For the past 2 days, ships which are scheduled to enter the harbor, are all canceled. At the moment there are 14 ships waiting to enter. There are at least 2 ships which are waiting before us, and each ship will take an average of 4 days at the berth. Thus, at least the 28th. We have about 100 tons of water left. There’s not enough to get us there. The point is, we have to be at the berth to even get water. Since we are just floating, we are doomed.

In other news, a friend of mine who is also working for this company just left due to some unhappiness, and I mean major unhappiness. There’s a bond between my friend and the company and my friend is considering breaking the bond. I am happy for her as 1. this company does not provide opportunity for growth and 2. since there’s a reason to get out, then use it to every advantage and stay out. I’ve been getting a lot of dreams in my sleep and one of them the other day was that I’m working for Alex as a broker in Italy. Its the strangest and most exciting dream I had.

In all honesty, I’ve considered breaking my bond, its just complicated and I don’t really want to make that choice. I wish perhaps some shit as big as my friends will explode in my face, thus giving me the reason to throw it on the table and give everyone my third finger. (and the shit as well).

Oh yes, I took a really violent dump this morning and there’s no water to flash.

My shitty little job:

Lets see, there’s this month’s PMS which is mainly just BS, I need to stick the launching instruction of the forward life raft, the sticker on the new liferaft, I need to check the embarkation ladder, need to derust the entire area. I need to wax the zippers of the suits and powder the chemical suits and do the store requisition, then take a little inventory of my stupid flags. I think I need to order more beer for my bond store and ask about the hydrostatic test of all my bottles. Its so fucking … … whats the word? Who the hell supply all the bottles all at once and when they are due, they all due at the same time?! I mean, seriously… Then the lifejacket light is expiring in July. I need to ask if we should order this call Singapore or next call Singapore.

I can’t wait to start my 50 days count down!